Drawing the line ----

Anything below this line is part of a major self discovery, world discovery, purpose discovery phase that has ended. Anything below this line is the result of a considerable share of happiness, misery and chains of fortunate and unfortunate event that made me who I am.

Anything above this line is from a new phase of my life: A sparkling of phase of enlightenment, wonder and real, genuine, undisturbed "joie de vivre" like never before...

This is where I'll be expressing, almost daily, thoughts and reflections of my daily miniature stories. For the sake of sharing, getting feedback, and transmitting news; but mainly, for the sake of documentation of this majestic period of life that has just begun.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present: The Line:

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Mehtageen 2alameen yefawa2ookom!!!

I have officially become the first and only opponent of the idea of "charity" in Egypt!!!

I have the vision, the philosophy and the drive necessary to conduct my own campaign against charity in Egypt, my own fight!

What I mean by charity, is when "good people" want to "benefit their community" by "donating" money, cloth, food or products to people who are in need.

It is a generous act of support to the community that surrounds us and, should be encouraged by everyone.... Well, except me. As far as I'm concerned, "charity" is a good act in other countries, but not in Egypt. Why? simply because I believe Egypt does not deserve charity. And specially not Egyptians.

To give charity, is to "help someone in need". I say it loud and crystal clear: NO ONE is currently "in need" in Egypt. And yes, I mean NO ONE:

Neither the homeless, nor the widow or divorcé with her children, nor the sick family, nor the poor who only earn 1 EP per month. They all don't deserve it.

We are a country where even the simplest equations don't work. A country where 1 + 1 doesn't necessarily equal 2, unless there's a policeman standing next to the "=".

Let me prove it:

1: We're a country where everything is missing: from infrastructure, to development, to education to healthcare..etc. We're a country that needs A LOT of work to be done. Agree?

2: We're a country that has over 80 million citizen, huge land, water sources, energy sources and yes, our ancestors gave us the biggest "charity" anyone can give: "history, culture and bedazzling civilization". Good resources. Huge number of people.

In the following equation:

Progress = welfare of the people = happy lives = shining economy = an A class country.

Yet, the equation is very simple:

Work + Resources + Manpower = an A country.

We have the work to do.

We have the resources needed

and we have the manpower to do it.

Are we an A country? "no" is an understatement!

But why? how?

We do have 80 million people: A HUGE manpower that can build bridges to the moon.

We do have very generous and renewable resources that all countries envy us for...

Then what's the problem?

The problem is this: we don't Work.

Thus disrupting the entire balance of the equation.

We don't do anything. We have become a lazy community, that wants everything without doing anything.

Today, in the EXTREMELY dirty, smelly, chaotic, loud and ugly streets of the "Ramsis" area, and among the incredible noise and anarchy there. I was "trying" to find a sidewalk where I can walk to reach my destination without being crushed by the cars. On the used-to-be-sidewalk I found, and almost tripped on an apparently homeless man, sleeping on the floor.

Of course, this isn't really an uncommon sight, and, for sure, wasn't a shock for me.

But, let's take a closer look at this, shall we?

That's one homeless person, no roof, no money, no food, no future, no work, NOTHING. A miserable creature that the universe has, as some might say, "been unfair" to.

3ala 3eenee we rasee.

My question: What On Earth, is he doing, at 11:30 am, SLEEPING in the street!!!! I really sympathize with his condition and everything, and the fact that he is managing to sleep in the middle of this chaos is a miracle by itself. BUT, why is he sleeping? I'm not asking him to wake up and go find a job, or do something in his life, or stop being a burdon to society and begin adding to it. I'm not even daring to say any of this, but, AT LEAST, AT LEAST, get up and do the minute effort of begging for money... Do this "work", do this little tiny thing. Just sit there and open your hands, don't even talk, but DO SOMETHING!!!! Are we too lazy to even ask for money? Is this what we have become???

In Egypt, who does his job right? who really adds to the society? who really "perfects" his work?

As an individual who is working in the civil society and who is supposed to be delivering impact to the community, I'm not asking government employees to help. That would be too much asking, I'm only asking them to DO THEIR JOB and just Let me do mine. Is this too much to ask for?

As a classic driver who still believes in red lights, I'm not asking the policemen to follow them, or not to abuse their job, I'm only asking them to AT LEAST, make a clearer hand sign when they want me to stop or go, to wave their hands, or dare I? to use a whistle...!!! THEY DON'T EVEN use their whistles anymore.. They're too lazy to blow!!!!

I'm not asking pedestrians to walk till the crossing area, or to wait for the green light or to even look when they're crossing the street. Just, when you do all of that, PLEASE be a little bit quicker, don't be too lazy to "just" take the normal walking speed.

I'm not asking electricians or plumbers to be quick, come on time, take less money, or even, hasha lellah, fix what they are supposed to fix, just PLEASE, don't leave it worse than it was before your intervention.

I'm not asking doctors, or eminent figures in the society, or society leaders to treat patients, go for the common goods or even benefit the community. I'm not asking any of them to actually attend a meeting or conference to learn or teach something, just PLEASE, don't push each others in open buffets of these events and make an additional "mini-open buffet" on your own table. Don't build a time-machine, just PUT YOUR MOBILES ON SILENT when in a session!!!

The moment Egyptians will work, they will have the greatest country in the world, it's that simple, it has always been this way. The moment they will stop being lazy, they won't be poor, they won't get sick and they won't live in misery. The moment people would, understand that it's all because of them and not "a conspiracy against this "good" people" they will realize it's all in their hands.

We are living in a gold rush. EVERYTHING needs to be done, and whoever will do it, will grow into society in a second. And so, I declare that whoever doesn't have a decent life, doesn't WANT to live a decent life, and, therefore, is not worthy of any charity.

I KNOW that if ANYONE wants anything really hard and WORKS for it, he will UNDENIABLY get it. But just praying for god's help without doing anything, this is just the furthest anyone could be from becoming something.

And, just as we are heading for THE laziest month in the year. The month where "the best" people, pray for things to happen, but don't do a thing in return (not even mentioning those who are even to lazy to pray for that, and just repeat a rhyming series of words they don't even understand). The month where people go to work at 10 and leave at 1, all without really doing anything in these 3 hours. The month where half of Egypt gives the other half of Egypt the money, food and cloth they are waiting for; I want to remind all of those who think there are poor people in this country. Unless the recipient of your act of charity has mental (and only mental) defects that doesn't enable him to reason: You aren't helping your people, you're just spoiling them!!!!

Don't fight poverty, fight laziness.... and everything will work from there.

Ya 3awazel.... Etnayeloh :)

Pause

Waves of endless flows of emotions, converging, spreading, taking twists and sudden turns, radiating in white chalky strokes: That seems to be life. To see it as a sequence of events, people and settings is a great undermine of the splendor and beauty of god's most intricate masterpieces.

It is capable of manifesting itself in grandiose scenery and epic wonders, but it has the unique ability of being summarized in a look, a note of voice, an eye spark, a trace of humanity.

Tonight I experienced an overwhelming flow of human emotions radiating from those eyes, those sparkling eyes who were exceptionally even more sparkling this night, a bit wetter maybe? or maybe it's their ways of saying, this is our "manly" way to say how we feel.

Emotions that instantly found a way to penetrate my chest and really, more real than anything, caused the most unusual heartache one can get. It really came from there, no doubt about it. Maybe today a bit shifted to the right? which was kinda weird. But it came from in there alright.

In seeing one's struggle for a firm and sold "man" way to deal with grief, when feeling this moment of nostalgia passing by him like the wind and almost succeeding at overthrowing his outstanding urge to seem as coherent as a "man" should be, one realizes how fragile a human being can be, how pure a soul can turn to be, how we know nothing, how it's all a fragile dream of crimson skies of whirlpools of turbulent emotions of love and attachment.

Here is our love life brought into wild, in moments such as this, all that lives and breathes under the sun is a part of heaven's kiss.

I cannot stand the simple concept of seeing a human so dear, with a similar deep ache. There's nothing I can say or do to make this go away, just know that we'll all fly to meet the dawn in crimson sky, we will be reborn.

Till then, your humanity is god's most major blessing, the wildest path for discovery, the gift given by the lord in exchange of everything else. And it's a divine gift indeed. One that nobody sees yet, it does exist, the proof? It's making me write posts like this.

and what would that change...

He, he observes you from where he sits,

You, it unnerves you, you lose your wits.

He, he ignites you with eyes of flame,

You, it excites you, you like the game.

And I in my chair, though I hardly speak, I notice each innuendo.

And I in my chair, I'm stricken with fear at seeing the end so near.

He, how to win you? he woos with style,

You, you continue to coyly smile.

He, with his quarry on hunting ground,

You, probably sorry that I'm around.

And I in my chair, though I hardly speak, I see just how well he's doing.

And I in my chair, I'm trying to hide the dread that I hold inside.

He, his eyes flatter, your hands touch,

You, now you chatter a bit too much.

He, like a gypsy, he serenades,

You, you grow tipsy, your laugh cascades.

And I in my chair, though I hardly speak, my heart's on the verge of... crying.

And I in my chair, my heart understands, my love is now changing hands.

"No... no, no it's nothing, perhaps a little tired only

Why do you ask me if I'm feeling alright? of course I am.

This was a beautiful evening,

Yes indeed a.... a beautiful evening."

The world's greatest superhero, now, the world's greatest toy..!

Out among the stars I sail,
way beyond the moon
in my silver ship i sail
a dream that ended to soon
now I know exactly who I am,
and what im here for
and I will go sailing no more

all the things I thought I'd be,
all the brave things i'd done
vanished like a snowflake,
with the rising of the sun
never more to sail my ship,
where no man has gone before
and I will go sailing no more

no it can't be true
I could fly if I wanted to
like a bird in the sky,
I believe I can fly
why I'd fly....

clearly now, I will go sailing, no more

Diamond in the rough, part 2

I wanted to write about you, didn't know what to say, then, came this song, this song full of emotional whirlpools, this song that still brings me the biggest heart ache, haunting me whenever I see a shadow of the past, the shadow of a memory, the shadow of a smile.

The shadow of your smile when you are gone,

will color all my dreams, and light the dawn.

Look into my eyes, and see,

all the lovely things, you are, to me.

Now when I remember spring, 

all the joy that love can bring,

I will be remembering..

the shadow of your smile.

And just like this song, you're still haunting me, there is something about you that does, I can't explain it but it just works.

You know my weakness, you know how to use it, you know how to tame me, you manage to do it every time, you turn me into someone I don't even recognize anymore, someone I used to know, someone I lost over the years, someone that represents all what I was. This radiant heart pumping emotions, passion and light.

Each time I see your sparkling eyes, even for a few minutes, you leave me perplexed, unable to talk for the rest of the day, you're not even aware of it but you make me loose my focus more than anything else.

You say they won't come, you say it's impossible, I totally believe you're wrong, I absolutely believe it's possible, they can come back, they can happen again, it's just a matter of will, a will that I have but can't transmit, maybe because I really saw them, because I've really known them: those sunny days, and starry nights, those lazy afternoons; when we counted castles in the clouds, and hummed little tunes. But somehow right before my eyes, the summer fades away, every thing is different, everything has changed.

But Diamond, you weren't there, you weren't there when I needed you most, you come and go, you do your thing, say your words, do your effect on me and just leave when I most need your presence.

Funny how a photograph, can take you back in time,
to places and embraces that you thought you'd left behind.
Trying to remind you that you're not the only one,
that no one is on an island, when all is said and done.

And then, I feel lost, on my own, far from home, and the only things that manages to make me realize that I'm never alone is when I think of my friends, the ones who care, they are always waiting there, with love to share, and my heart just brings me to where I feel safe, to where I feel at home.

So you see Diamond, you are a diamond in the rough, a genuine diamond in the rough, but at the end, a diamond is just a rock, a shining rock but still a rock, and maybe, just maybe, you are as well. Diamonds may shine, but they will never be friends, real friends like the ones I have. They are here, they are real and they shine too. And when comes a day when I'm losing my way and don't know where I belong; they say that home is where the heart, so I just follow my heart and know that I can't go wrong.