Names, events and opinions ARE sometimes gonna be mentioned without restrictions. If you don't like it do quit the internet.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

بوست باللي كتبتوا في ماراثون الكتابة القديم عشان اقدم في ماراثون الكتابة اللي جاي

Ana 3ayza akteb bel 3arabi, mesh kasdi be ma3na el kalam bass bel 3arabi bass kaman tekoun el ketaba bel 3arabi. Ana delwa2ti 3andi moshkela 3aweisa wa heya eni mesh la2ya ezai a3‘ayar el lo3’a fel computer. Wa haza adda ila tamazog el arkam ma3 el 7orouf el latinia.

La3‘ayet ma wa2t el ketaba ye7‘lass we yigui  wa2t el ra7a we a2adar ma7esesh eni badaya3 wa2t el ketaba momken  sa3etha as2al 7‘atibi eli howa bardo 7‘abir fel computarat el apple, ezai momken araga3 el ketaba be 7orouf 3arabeya fel computer beta3i.

أنا مبسوطة لان وقت الكتابة بتاعى محدد بالوقت المحدد من الكتاب المشاركين اللى بيكتيبو معايا. هما شكلهم كتاب متمريسين ودى حاجة كويسة لانى حاسة انهم هيرتقوا بيا. ان الواحد يكون محاط بكتاب بيفهموا برضه ليه احلى الكتابات بتكون قصص ومش بس قصص ولكن القصص عن شخصيات تكاد تبان انها بعيدة عن شخص الكاتب ولكنها مجرد ستار يساعد الكاتب على التعبير عن نفسه بدون ان يتعرى ويكون معرض للجرح. حاجة برضو حلوة فى الكتابة مكنتش اعرفها قبل كده هو انها تهذب النفس والتفكير. بمعنى انه الواحد هيموت يطلع كل اللى جواه وبسرعة, ولكن الجوانب التقنية للكتابة كخط سيره وسرعته فى الكتابة  والاداة التى يستعملها فى الكتابة, ان كانت الية او يدوية ويأتى فوق كل ذلك اللغة. كلها حاجات وان كانت تبطأ فانها ايضا تتسبب فى نوع من الانتقاء الطبيعى. 

وانا صغيرة,  فى سنوات المراهقة بالتحديد كان فيه كاتبة فرنسية بحب كتابتها وبحب اللى اعرفه عنها وعن شخصيتها وفى مرة قريت مقابلة شخصية معاها واتسألت هى ايه هو الروتين بتاعها فى الكتابة وازاى بتكتب. كان ردها انها بتزبط مكتبها بحيث ميكونش عليه غير الكمبيوتر وبعد كده تعمل مج حاجة سخنة مولعة وتروح تعقد على مكتبها وتجيب وهى جاية قاموس المرادافات. انا كان ساعتها اول مرة اسمع عن قاموس للمرادفات, مرادف زى ماكانو بيبينولنا فى دروس القراءة هو مساواة بين كلميتين او اكثر, زى كدة كلمة “قاموس” و كلمة “معجم”. الهدف من وجود قاموس المرادفات جنبها هو كان انها مش بس عايزة تكتب كتابات تعيش معاها ولكن ايضا تكون كل وحدة كل كلمة غنية ومختلفة فى ذاتها. واذ رأيت نفسى بعد عشرات السنين اتأثر بها ولا اكتفى بالكلمة التى توصل المعنى فقط ولكن كلمة ايضا تنعشنى ويكون حتى شكلها حلو.

اعتقد ان اصعب حاجة فى الكتابة انه يكون فى حبل افكار وانه يكون فى نهاية عارفاها وعايزة اوصلها. حوار النهاية وحبل الافكار دى حاجة مضايقانى جدا, عامله زى بعبع الاودة الضلمة اللى الواحد لازم يتعامل معاه عشان ينام. سمعت من قريب انه التشبيهات فى الكتابة دى مش حاجة كويسة , مش فاهمة ليه؟! اهو مثلا تشبيه الاودة الضلمة ده تشبيه كويس جدا.

ليه الواحد ممكن يكتب؟ ليه البنى ادم العادى حق من حقوقه انه يكتب؟ هو انا الحقيقة مش عارفة بس من معتقداتى انه عايز يلمس حاجة جواه هو مش متأكد انها جواه او مش فاهمها وممكن كمان يكون عايز يعيش تانى احساس او فترة هو عاشها قبل كده بس عدت بسرعة خضته لدرجة انه عايز يخلدها ويرجعلها تانى كل شوية.

أنا حاسة انه الموضوع بقى بالنزبالى سريالى زيادة عن اللزوم كله مبهم ومش متماسك ولكن من الناحية الاخرى حياتى ليس بها العمق الكافى اللى يوديني الان الى اى مكان. كل الناس بتقول كده: انا حاسس انى لوحدى وكل الناس معترفة اننا لوحدنا مع بعض ومع ذلك هى حلقة لا نهاية لها. اعتقد ان هذا الاحساس بيتأكسد فى الفترات الانتقالية ايا كان نوعها والواحد بيفكر هو انا لوحدى حاسس بالازمة ولا ده طبيعى؟! 

اعتقد قمة الوحدة هى ان الواحد مايقدرش يشارك لاسباب متعددة حاجات مش اللى بس بتحزنه, الحاجات اللى كل الناس عايزة تشاركها مع الاخر وعايزه يحس بيه, ولكن الانقح انه الواحد يكون عايز حد يسمعه فى حاجة مش محزنة ابدا ولكنها تعتبر حاجة سعيدة وبتبسط الواحد.

حاجة مقدرش اقولها لصديقتى لانى سقف الحاجات اللى انا احسنلى ماقولهالهاش عيلى على مر السنين, حاجة مقدرش اقولها لامى عشان هى مالهاش دعوة, حاجة مقدرش اقولها لاخويا لانه اولا هو اخويا و ثانيا هو ولد, يعنى الواحد وصل دلوقتى للممر مقفول.

انا مش قصدى اكبر المواضيع بس الحاجة السعيدة مش قادرة اشاركها حتى مع الشخص المتورط المشارك فيها وهو صديقى الذكر. أنا بحس انى عندى مشكلة انى اشعر الناس بحبى لهم واللى هى حاجة المفروض هطبستهم عامتا وصديقى خاصتا. العشق بالمعنى العام وادراك لافعال معينة بالمعنة الخاص. التقدير للاحساس بالتكملة وحتى التقدير الاحساس الذى حاول ان يتفاداه طويلا و هو ان اشعر يوما باحساس غير مفهوم بالنسبالى وهو ضغط من شئ يعتبر خارج جسمه فى اسفلى عندما يحضننى ويقبلنى. لم اتكلم له ابدا عن شعورى بهذا, لان هناك اتفاق غير معلن بيننا ان نتجاهل اى شئ رسومى يخص الاتصال الجنسى بيننا حتى “ليلة الدخلة”.

لما اخبرنى زميلى عن مفهوم ماراثون الكتابة, اكثر حاجة عجبتنى انى هقرأ اللى انا كتبته من غير ما حاد يعلق ولا حتى يضحك. قلت بس كدة هطلع كل الكبت اللى جوايا وهكسر مفهوم ان مفيش بنت محترمة وبنت ناس بتفكر فى الجنس قبل الجواز, خلاص بقى هعبر عن نفسى بطريقة مثيرة, واعبر عن الكثير من التخيلات فى مخى. 

ولكن الموضوع اصعب مما تخيلت وشكلى هضيع الفرصة الذهبية انه الناس تسمعنى من غير ما تعلق ولا تقول رأيها. ده بيبين اكيد اد ايه انا عندى ميول دكتاتورية. 


One of the quotes I really like is Winston Churchill’s “If you’re going through hell keep going”. And right now it’s not that I’m going through hell, it’s that I really don’t know what to write. I just erased a paragraph that I wrote about my father and the singer Um Koulsoum. I’m not sure writing for a living would be the best idea for me. I’m not even sure if writer are really happy people. Hemingway was not that happy of a person, at least he didn’t seem so interpreted in Woody Allen’s movie. I think I read somewhere that he wrote the book “A Moveable Feast” in a writing marathon, I think he had nothing in his head to write so he ended up writing a whole book in which he beautifully describes food, which nobody has done before and was very good to us readers.

He wrote this book when he was in Paris in his twenties and the book opens with the following 
"If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast."

He later in his book describes oysters:
"As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans."

I have to admit I wouldn’t have known this book if it wasn’t for the chick flick “the city of angels” and the latter excerpt was the one used in the movie.

But that doesn’t change the fact that I was lucky enough to be in Paris with my love, but instead of oysters we ate mussels. It was pretty close, meaning by “close” that we had a old couple eating oysters that literally moved in their shells in the table right next to us. 

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

My thoughts about the elections in short!


- I have full confidence in people's choices, have no worries about outcomes of elections and believe democracy is a learning process for all of us.
- I was neutral towards boycotting and took all needed steps to vote.
- Expat voting: chaotic central management beyond compare leading to highly skewed results
- Bad planning of expat voting disabled me from my casting mine in the two rounds.
- I'm glad this happened because I TRULY believe now that boycotting is the best thing to do with this mess they call "elections"
- The people had a genuine urge and interest in having their voice heard, authorities weren't up to these expectations and failed us MAJORLY in their management.
- Elections manipulation doesn't have to be done by authorities. Religious advertising and judiciary failure to enforce the law against abuses are higher, more sever levels of voter's fraud.
- "non-conformities" are normal in any elections. What is NOT normal is when the judiciary don't do anything about them, giving abuses the green light to go even further, which is what is happening.
- A judiciary sector that is aware of abuses in elections but that doesn't stop or prevent simply is simply a COMPLICIT in voter forgery.
- I believe this major failures are beyond people' frustration which translated into a 40% drop in voter turn-out

Conclusion: Maybe it's too soon to say so, but, I DO NOT recognize the results of these elections as legitimate, this regardless of how they turn out to be!

Monday, October 10, 2011

You can't handle the truth!


الحقيقة واضحة للجميع: مسيرة سلمية المجلس العسكرى وافق عليها - عائلات وأطفال وأحزاب وحركات - أعداد غفيرة - تصرف غبى من  قيادات الجيش - مجزرة للشعب المصرى - تحريض طائفى وكذب رسمى على الإعلام الرسمى وقمع للإعلام غير الرسمى.

حكومة فاشلة فى إدارة الأزمات - حاكم عسكري قمعى ومتشبث بأدواته القمعية (طوارئ - محاكمات عسكرية - رقابة على الإعلام - تبرير للعنف) - إعلام عايز الحرق.

لو شايف ده ولقيت أي تبرير ليه تبقي بتضحك على نفسك علشان خايف من الحقيقة.
الحقيقة إن الحاكم اللى هو المجلس العسكرى هو الـ"يد الخفية" اللى عايزة تدمر الثورة وبتلعب بالبلد والشعب.  مهما لقيت من تبريرات جواك إنت عارف الحقيقة ديه مهما كانت مقلقة أو مرعبة بالنسبة لك.



Thursday, October 6, 2011

Human Compassion

Our belonging to “Humanity” is most undeniable, unshakable source of belonging that we can have.
It is the source of tolerance and understanding. It trespasses nationality, religious believes, politics, age and different opinions.
It unites us all into one grand body that constitutes “humanity”
It proves that, regardless of any major or minor differences, we are all the same.


Human Compassion is the most universal and innate attribute that makes us humans. It is what makes any of us happy when a child smile, angry when we feel betrayed, worried before exam results, upbeat when we succeed, pained when we see suffering. Inspired when we see innovation. Bewildered by creativity.


Our reaction to death is as human as it can be. Even in the death of an enemy we see a reflection of our fate. It shakes us, sadness us and sometimes shocks us. It pushes us to reflect about who we are, what we’re doing and where we’re headed.


This is because we are all connected at the end, to this massive body of humanity bound to each other by a widespread network of human compassion.


Human Compassion ultimately define who we are. Human Compassion makes us human.


Lose this human compassion, for whatever reason or pretext, and you have lost your most valuable attribute. Lose these feelings and you have lost what makes you “human”: Your Humanity!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Action Needed NOW!!!


Well, I have come through this video on the internet. I believe some of you might have already seen it.

Please watch it till the end:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQIXprHpo5Y&feature=share


Now, I don't know how you feel about this, but this was HEAVILY disturbing for me.
Of course, the brutality, and joy that the guy is having abusing these children is beyond shocking, but that's not what's disturbing me the most;
What is most striking is:
1) The fact that there is actually someone shooting this on camera, with an increasing laughter the more the children are beaten!!
2) The presence of other people (possibly teachers) including one fully veiled (monakaba) woman in the same room. This single women in the room didn't do anything about that and, in fact, she didn't seem to mind what was happening. Neither her motherhood, religion nor humanity pushed her to do anything about that.
3) This video was shot in the 2011!!! AND after a revolution!!!
4) That I'M SURE this is a common practice, everywhere in the country. I'm also sure there are FAR WORSE things that happen everyday, off camera.

I believe there is NOTHING more vital than a rapid, youth lead intervention about this specific case (as a warning for other abusers) and other sadistic people that would think for second this kind of "education" can continue one more DAY on our watch.

I think we need to discuss this and ACT promptly. With the proper intervention and the right media involvement we can send a strong message of "NO MORE, MISTER" to all those who have joined the teaching profession to satisfy their sick needs of violence.

I invite all those who are interested to do something about this, to comment on the post in the blog and, if we manage to get the sufficient leverage on the matter, we can really do something about that and organize using different tools.

A twitter hashtag was also created for this, you can check it out in order to see what other young people are planning to do about this. #ToZefta


Feel free to involve anyone whom you see interested and please share.

Looking forward to your comments.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Son of the Army

I'm not a regular blogger. I can't really describe myself as a "political blogger". I certainly don't know and don't care to know how many people actually read my blog posts. Sometimes I write in English, sometimes in French, rarely in Arabic and most of the times, I write only when a thought or when I have something really specific to get out of my system.

This post is a bit different. Today, the 23rd of May 2011, the "Egyptian Blogosphere" has decided to break a new taboo that the surrounding community is trying to create. I, on my part, being out the country, am making a rather "personal contribution".



We are just waking up from a never-before-seen revolution with absolutely no leaders. The power of determination and communication combined with a set of deeply rooted real life disasters have fueled this public uprising in ways that I can't even believe happened. But, just like everybody else: Nobody really had a specific "plan of action" about what should happen afterwards.

I mean, if our wildest dreams come true and would this revolution succeed, what should happen? how would a transitional period go? who would be in charge? I dare anyone to say he/she even thought about that.

In one of these epic turn of events, the army, lead by the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces (SCAF for short) has decided to "take the side of the people" and "defend the revolution". Good deed? for sure, heroic? I wouldn't go that far.

I believe this intervention was the smart choice, the logic choice and the expected choice.
Now, the army and the SCAF have done something really great and they have made our revolution a success, well and good. Now, we move to another phase of building the country we all believe ourselves worthy of.

And here comes the problem, the army / SCAF may be great at doing their job "protecting the people" but they're certainly not knowledgeable, trained, experienced or ready to do a totally different job: "Leading a country of 85 million people in a pivotal point of its history". It doesn't mean they're bad people, it doesn't mean they're on the "dark side of the force", it's just that you're asking a mechanic to remove your tonsils. Those inflamed, complicated, infected tonsils that have been part of your body for years and that you have to remove now, with a great deal of surgical precision.


Meet my father:

My father was a "surgeon in uniform".
During his long career in the armed forces, he worked both as a real life surgeon (a very skilled one) and in several management jobs in the armed forces as a high ranked officer, in Egypt and abroad.
He also worked for a significant period of time directly with "المشير".

My father was the greatest person on the planet. I have no doubts about that. He created and maintained a loving family, was loved and appreciated by his patients and did ground-breaking achievements everywhere he went in the armed forces. He died while at work.

But, with all his greatness, my father couldn't have possibly managed a country. A country that isn't staffed with soldiers and men in duty. A country that doesn't operate following a strict hierarchy of orders and chains of commands, a country where discipline is science fiction, rules are a suggestions and corruption, part its genome.

Living with him and seeing up close and personal, how the army functions, I can tell you this: You are expecting TOO MUCH from them.

You cannot expect an institution that values absolute obedience to accept criticism. You cannot expect deep-rooted believes in discipline and minute precision in execution, to accept a bombardment of freedom of expression, popular demands, rising critique from blogs, twitter, Facebook comments, media, popular coffee shops chats, housewives phone calls...etc. This is absolutely too much for them to handle. They don't know how to do this and they are not supposed to know.

A relative of mine is a cardiologist currently working with the SCAF directly, his sole responsibility is to maintain their health in cases of emergency. Let me tell you this: He didn't sleep for the past 4 months.

So, bottom line, they're trying REALLY hard, but guess what: They're doing an absolutely LOUSY job. And a lousy job in these times give strong feelings of insecurity and doubts about intentions. Next thing you know, you'll be hearing the word "ارحل" (go away) this time in the plural form.


Now what? We're in a bit of a pickle here. 

- The nuance between criticizing the council as a political leader and attacking the army as a institution, poses significant difficulty to disseminate among the people.
- Many (mainly the older population) are concerned more about these scare-crows: "stability", "security", "economy". Pushing a second wave of revolution absolutely depends on bursting these bubbles, in each home for starters.
- The situation CANNOT possibly continue like this: We are seeing everyday our revolution and our country gradually disintegrating in these bits and pieces and growingly foggy "light at the end of the tunnel". The SCAF management is largely responsible for that.


What are our options?

- Option 1: يبقى الوضع كما هو عليه - Status quo
Although it's the easiest option, yet, this revolution, this country, these people deserve SO MUCH more than what the status quo can achieve.

- Option 2: Presidential council
First things first: As far as I'm concerned, this isn't even an option. Why? simply because we had a referendum and the people have spoken. I was (and now more than ever) sure it would have been better if the referendum had ended up with a "No", yet, this revolution was about real democracy, and the result of this referendum does reflect the people's choice. I will defend my unshakable believe in democracy over my leaning towards a different result. If you're still questioning that, you seriously need to learn to move on!

Second, although these words "presidential council" may sound "cute" but, in my opinion, they hide a marked degree of naivety in the reasoning behind them.
A presidential council is supposed to be a group of people "selected" to govern the country for a period of time. These people will not be elected of course and, no matter what is done, there will NEVER be a public satisfaction about them. I dare you to bring me 3 names of potential members of this council that would have sufficient public legitimacy.

Also, the SCAF is a council as well, so in theory, it's the same, in practical however, it is important to consider the fact that 3 people, with different reasonings and agendas, guiding the same boat, will lead to absolutely no where. In addition, in a time that requires swift, attentive measures; this may not be the best way to go. At least the military manage, somehow to work their differences inside the council, any other people won't last together for a month.

Finally, IF we manage to come up with a presidential council with sufficient harmony and public approval, they will forcibly take the country in a direction that the people didn't really chose.


- Option 3: "Down with X then Y then Z"
I don't really believe in that. Some might disagree, but I don't really believe that concentrating bad management in specific physical persons is such a mature thing to do on the long run. I mean, not because it worked with Mubarak and a bunch of his thugs because they were absolutely corrupt, does this mean it will apply on all others.

Sure if the Mosheer steps down, this "might" help, but how do you know if the other members of the council are any better in management (I know for a fact that they're not), and it's practically impossible to ask for a new "military council".

- Option 4: Pressure to reach REAL participation in decision making
This is the option I believe most suitable.
The SCAF needs to understand that we, the people and specifically the YOUNG people are in control now. We say what needs to be done and they do it.
Old people have governed this country for WAY TOO LONG and they have managed to ruin it EXTENSIVELY... If you really wish to see real development in this country, do like the most civilized nations do: Put The Young In Charge. It's mad, it's risky, it's weird, but it does work, it will work and if it doesn't, be sure that it will be better than anything 88 years old people will do.

The SCAF needs to understand that our problem was not Mubarak as a person or Mubarak as a figure, but Mubarak as reasoning, as strategy, priorities, management. Right now, the SCAF are running the show with almost the same mentality, with the same paternalistic attitude, the same media control the same, priorities. This has to change!

So, dear SCAF: Involve the Young, don't take ANY decision without REAL sufficient public participation, respond to the streets, LISTEN and most importantly: Stop being the parent and begin being the public servant.


We have to criticize the management because this is our country. There is no shame in that, and the moment we'll shut up again would be the moment we've decided to go in deep slumber once more.

We need you to listen, to understand and to apply. No more arrogance, No more patronizing.
Our love and belonging to you is deep rooted and unshakable as an institution and as individuals. You are our family. But as managers, it's our job to tell you when you're sucking at it.


Nobody can kill our revolution. Only WE can bury it alive if we shut up or if we talk too much. It works both ways.