Names, events and opinions ARE sometimes gonna be mentioned without restrictions. If you don't like it do quit the internet.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The world's greatest superhero, now, the world's greatest toy..!

Out among the stars I sail,
way beyond the moon
in my silver ship i sail
a dream that ended to soon
now I know exactly who I am,
and what im here for
and I will go sailing no more

all the things I thought I'd be,
all the brave things i'd done
vanished like a snowflake,
with the rising of the sun
never more to sail my ship,
where no man has gone before
and I will go sailing no more

no it can't be true
I could fly if I wanted to
like a bird in the sky,
I believe I can fly
why I'd fly....

clearly now, I will go sailing, no more

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Diamond in the rough, part 2

I wanted to write about you, didn't know what to say, then, came this song, this song full of emotional whirlpools, this song that still brings me the biggest heart ache, haunting me whenever I see a shadow of the past, the shadow of a memory, the shadow of a smile.

The shadow of your smile when you are gone,
will color all my dreams, and light the dawn.
Look into my eyes, and see,
all the lovely things, you are, to me.

Now when I remember spring, 
all the joy that love can bring,
I will be remembering..
the shadow of your smile.

And just like this song, you're still haunting me, there is something about you that does, I can't explain it but it just works.

You know my weakness, you know how to use it, you know how to tame me, you manage to do it every time, you turn me into someone I don't even recognize anymore, someone I used to know, someone I lost over the years, someone that represents all what I was. This radiant heart pumping emotions, passion and light.

Each time I see your sparkling eyes, even for a few minutes, you leave me perplexed, unable to talk for the rest of the day, you're not even aware of it but you make me loose my focus more than anything else.

You say they won't come, you say it's impossible, I totally believe you're wrong, I absolutely believe it's possible, they can come back, they can happen again, it's just a matter of will, a will that I have but can't transmit, maybe because I really saw them, because I've really known them: those sunny days, and starry nights, those lazy afternoons; when we counted castles in the clouds, and hummed little tunes. But somehow right before my eyes, the summer fades away, every thing is different, everything has changed.

But Diamond, you weren't there, you weren't there when I needed you most, you come and go, you do your thing, say your words, do your effect on me and just leave when I most need your presence.

Funny how a photograph, can take you back in time,
to places and embraces that you thought you'd left behind.
Trying to remind you that you're not the only one,
that no one is on an island, when all is said and done.

And then, I feel lost, on my own, far from home, and the only things that manages to make me realize that I'm never alone is when I think of my friends, the ones who care, they are always waiting there, with love to share, and my heart just brings me to where I feel safe, to where I feel at home.

So you see Diamond, you are a diamond in the rough, a genuine diamond in the rough, but at the end, a diamond is just a rock, a shining rock but still a rock, and maybe, just maybe, you are as well. Diamonds may shine, but they will never be friends, real friends like the ones I have. They are here, they are real and they shine too. And when comes a day when I'm losing my way and don't know where I belong; they say that home is where the heart, so I just follow my heart and know that I can't go wrong.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

C'est pour notre voisine

- Little kid, where are you going? running bare footed this way?
- I'm running towards the "heavens" as, they say, "It's christmas time".

The christmas of the streets, it's snow and wind. And the wind of the streets put little kids to cry. Lights, Joy and Laughter are behind the displays, not for you, not for me, just for the neighbors.

My little one, have fun as much as you can, by looking, only by looking, but take care not to touch anything while looking from afar. 

The christmas of the streets, it's the cold of the winter, in the eyes wide-open of the children of the streets.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Kill facebook

An extremely sophisticated web of tight friendships and relationships.
A family that has taken its time before becoming a real, genuine one.
A piece of cloth with individual threads, turning around each other, tied  in each others, practically becoming one with each other day after day, moment after moment, photo after photo.

When you believe the only way to guarantee the stability of your family is to make the bonds between its family members tight and tighter. When you've practically done the impossible to reach this very solid sophisticated piece of cloth, this bullet proof piece of cloth that no one can break, that would absorb all shocks, that would always stay one.

Yet, not all the cotton threads have the same endurance, not all the pieces of your complex artwork are "comfortable" with each other. You think your piece of cloth is bullet proof? well think again.

Now that's history, and, for the sake of avoiding this hidden tear passing by the side of a single eye, let's refrain from mentioning it.

For more than 7 months now, I didn't write, I didn't think and I didn't talk (practically) about this sinister subject. Yet, a quick, accidental bump on some old photos are enough to cause yet another "earthquake".

Where is it exactly going? where is destiny taking us? is it all destiny? or can someone really do something? I mean what both sides now are doing is simply trying to break every single possible link they had with all other 
threads that used to form this magnificent piece of cloth. What is taking place right now is the pure, harsh, merciless tearing apart of something that one has spent a great deal of effort assembling. And believe me, if you managed to break it without a single drop of blood, without shedding a single tear, without feeling "this cannot be the solution", this only means one thing: You are/have become heartless, or worse, you think you know everyone, you think you know us, you think you know me.

I am a question to the world, not an answer to the herd, and what? do you think you understand? you don't know me, and I'll never be what you want me to be. And thanks to you, they don't know me, they won't know me, you know why? coz, for them, I'm not here. You can't see me, but I'm still here. They can't tell me who to be, cause I'm not what they see.

I'm still here, maybe with more determination not to be fooled again, maybe with more determination to watch my back a little bit more, but I'm still here, exactly the same, without one single change.

And now, on their way to complete separation, the links are becoming more intricate, we are not "unlinking" the two sides, we are "re-linking" them, but this time, with bonds of hate and sorrow. And it seems, it's not about to stop. It seems to be going in one direction.

I thought you were wiser, do you really think that giving it "time" will fix it? you couldn't be wronger my dear, time only succeeded at complicating things, and it is not ready to stop doing that.

As if this would make a difference, as if someone would really care, as if someone would rethink "hey, wait a minute, I've been a real jerk to these people, haven't I?".

Well, something is still sure, on this very long way to recovery, it seems, I still have one more tear to shed.

Kill Facebook

Saturday, May 31, 2008

When We Decide

We’re not birds, we’re rats. We don’t leave nests, we make them bigger.

Maybe I’m different kind of rat.

Maybe you’re not a rat at all.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

Rats! All we do is take, Dad. I’m tired of taking. I want to make things! I want to add something to this world.

Come with me... I got something I want you to see.

We’re here.

Take a good, long look, Remy. This is what happens when a rat gets a
little too comfortable around humans.

The world we live in belongs to the enemy. We must live carefully. We look out for our own kind, Remy.
When all is said and done, we’re all we’ve got.

His point made, Django turns to go. Remy stares up at the
horrible window, then softly says--


(stops in his tracks)

No, Dad. I don’t believe it. You’re telling me that the future is-- can
ONLY be-- (points at window) --more of this?

This... is the way things are. You can’t change nature.

Change IS nature, Dad.
The part that we can influence.
And it starts
when we decide.

Where you goin’?

With luck... forward.

Monday, May 26, 2008

The guardian angel theory

I have a guardian angel. I am among the very few who have one. And I would like to share this with you.

A guardian angel doesn't go by the same standard definitions of traditional relationships such as "Friendship" or "Romance". Your guardian angel cannot be your friend nor your girlfriend. She occupies a totally different position. A place into your surrounding that cannot be replaced by anyone or anything. A special presence that cannot be measured, cannot be bought, cannot be searched for, cannot be found.

Most people have friends, others have loved ones, few have "ultra-close friends", rare ones have "the love of their life", but countable are those who have guardian angels. 

I never looked for her, she just came by and turned into one. The secret? Be, yourself, someone's guardian angel and you'll have one on the spot. Du coup, you're someone's guardian angel, and someone else's protégé. It's the most miraculous chain of wondrous human emotions that surpass the size of life itself. 

My protégé
Nothing was planned, I just realized I have a role to play in my life, a role of ultimate importance. Someone needs to have me as his own guardian angel. My protégé didn't ask for it, my protégé doesn't even realize it, but this is a role I learnt I have to play in my life. It's a responsibility I have towards that very special individual. How did I know? Again with the sparkle in the eye.

The sparkle in the eye
There are 3 types of eyes, 1) Clear eyes, 2) Opaque eyes, 3) Sparkling eye.

And accordingly, you can practically classify people into 3 categories.
1) The Clear eyes: 99% of people, they are normal people, those are the people that surround you all of the time. Among them are your best-friends, your wanna-be-friends, and your not-even-close-to-befriend. The eye luster doesn't help a lot telling them apart.

2) The opaque eyes: 0.99% of people, those are the worst, they lack any sort of ingenuity, you can't possibly befriend them, my opinion, those are too hopeless cases to even mind. They'll either die alone or around mediocre friends, other opaque eyes holders.

3) The Sparkling eyes: 0.01% of people. Suggestion: If you find one of them, don't ever let go, they come right from heaven, for a purpose, they might be geniuses, or with average intelligence, they might be pious or very liberal. But one thing is for sure, they are guardian-angel material. And, if you play it right, they will end up being your guardian angels or your protégés. Those are a reason to live for by themselves, those are enough to make ones effort worthwhile. Those are angels hiding in a human form.

What's amazing is that I realized eye sparkle is nothing but a reflection of a light your own eye produces. You have to have a built-in-eye-sparkle-detector in your eyes, AND, the potential candidate must have sparkle-compatible eyes. So, in a way, this "eye-sparkle" might appear at times and disappear at times with the exact same person. It depends on both parties. And the more you notice sparkling eyes with someone, the more likely he's a true eye-sparkler, an angel in disguise.

And in that perspective, I'm the happiest living being on earth. I have everything and out of nothing. This is why I do anything I do, this is my role to play in life. No one can take that away from me. No matter how opaque his eyes are. And I thank god for this everyday, for this is the real blessing, this is the real gift. 

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Tu, 'ca nun chiagne!

Pourquoi donc irais-je encore à la guerre
Après ce que j'ai vu, avec ce que je sais ?
Où sont-ils à présent les héros de naguère ?
Ils sont allés trop loin chercher la vérité.

Quel que soit le printemps, les cigognes reviennent
Tant de fois, le cœur gros, je les ai vues passer.
Elles berçaient pour moi des rêveries anciennes
Illusions d'un enfant dont il n'est rien resté.

Toutes les fleurs sont mortes aux fusils de nos pères
Bleuets, coquelicots, d'un jardin dévasté.
J'ai compris maintenant ce qu'il me reste à faire
Ne comptez pas sur moi, si vous recommencez.

Tout ce que l'on apprend dans le regard de ces jeunes
Ni le feu, ni le fer n'y pourront jamais rien
Car l'amour - et lui seul - survit parmi les flammes
Je ferai ce qu'il faut pour défendre le mien

Pourquoi donc irais-je offrir ma jeunesse
Alors que le bonheur est peut-être à deux pas ?
Je suis là pour aimer, je veux aimer sans cesse
Afin que le soleil se lève sur nos pas.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

A different Diamond in the Rough

How can a human being be so pure? how can a human soul be so grand? how can one person have all of this inner beauty radiating from within?

In every expression, in every joke, in every intonation you show me the majesty of this divine creation that is humanity.

There are people who can just make you ashamed of belonging to the human kind. Yet, there are those who are just bigger than life itself, who just portray its genius without even realizing it. Just, by being themselves.

Your minute ambitions, your small expectations, your down-to-earth attitude are all SOOOO not like me, and that’s probably why I’m standing in admiration. You’re easily satisfied, easily impressed, the smallest things in life are enough to make your day. You’re humble as I hoped all would be, you’re grand as I hoped all would be.

Your emotional outbursts, this little vein that pops in your forehead when something just outrages you. This outstanding transparency of emotions can only be admired by a few connaisseurs.

Your friends, the way you choose them, the way you attract them to your side, the way you deal with them, this harmony, this simplicity, this honesty that doesn’t seek attention, that just passes unnoticed for most.

Your purity of soul and good will, the way you’re keen on making a difference. I can hardly think of any words other than purity. The word purity doesn’t begin to describe it.
You still have a lot to learn, and I’m sure you will. You have a lot to teach me and I’m sure you will. I just hope destiny is pro-education.

I didn’t see it yet but I can’t seem to stop visualizing this grin of satisfaction and contentment following your success. These puppy eyes almost wet with tears of pride of a job well done. This voice that is continuously repeating in your head “you did it ya me3alem”. Well it resonates in my skull regardless of the distance that separates us, physically, mentally or circumstantially.
Men el akher, if an Alien spaceship came to pick up one single human being as a sample of the human race, in my eyes, I can’t find a better ambassador.

I really can’t find out if this flow of emotions are paternal, fraternal, or just simple friendship. But I know this for sure, I can tell a work of art when I see one.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Al 3atah

MA Howa el 3atah...

"3atah" is the new word of the day. "3atah" is a state of mind. "3atah" is a state of soul. "3atah" is contagious. "3atah" is human.
Human nature is characterized by "el 3atah". With all due respect. Humans are imbeciles.

Although the acoustic impact of the word "3atah" isn't even close to the word "Imbecile", but, it kinda expresses the idea.

Latest discovery: Humans are imbeciles. And guess what?... I'm gonna convince you.

A child. A human child. He wants his toy. He decided he wants his toy. He will do anything to get it. He will cry. He will scream. He will hit. He will crawl. JUST to get it. Then what? he gets his toy, plays with it for a little while. Then he leaves it and turns to something else. You bend over and pick up the abandoned toy, SUDDENLY he wants his toy back again, and he shouts and screams for it. Only to leave it again after a while.

Guess what? People remain this way after they grow up. PURE IMBECILES....
They crave something so bad that they're ready to kill for it. They appreciate it and appreciate its value to the wildest level. But when they finally get it. You shouldn't be surprised if they left it, and for the silliest reasons. Why? because they're imbeciles.

Give them gold, they'd ask for silver, give them silver, they'd ask for gold, give them none they'd ask for both, give them both they'd throw them both away.

Singles want to be in a relationship. Married people want to get out of it.
Parents complain of their children, sterile couples would do anything for one.
Unemployed would kill for a job, employees hate theirs.
Egyptians want to go abroad, foreigners crave for an Egyptian nationality.
Iraqis hate Saddam, when he's gone "walla yoom men ayamak". Egyptians will top them.
SSS is sick of national corruption, when there is an alternative, they create local corruption to fit the national one.
Poor people want money, when they get it, they seek "the simple life".

What's the BIG DEAL???? what's wrong with this human creature? BE SMART for crying out loud. You have something that's pure, something that's worth everything in the world: You have REAL feelings. You have REAL friendships. You have REAL honesty. You throw that away because you "prefer" Fake? you prefer people being fake? You prefer emotions being fake? are you really that stupid?

How could someone be living in Disneyland and decide to move to place Pigalle?
How could someone taste how wonderful life can be and leave it for no real reason?

I'm in shock... bosso ya gama3a
It's like, bezabt, takhayaloh keda, how much I was craving for my Apple Laptop, and imagine ba2a after actually having it, I decided to throw it away because I don't like the screensaver. :S

WAKE UP... GROW UP... APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE.... Live every moment of the amazing opportunities that are in your hands. Chances are, these are the best days of your life. Chances are, this is as close as you'd get to happiness.

Men shahtafa we 3eyat 3ala "can we still be friens?" to "friendships are lost everyday, 3adee ya3nee"

Which raises a big question. Are people really in quest for Happiness? or are they in quest for Drama?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Now that's a tough one...!!!

To be leader, or to be human, that's a question.

Well, here it comes again, the same situation, the same age-old question. And of course, this time it's even harder to answer.
- A doctor in the emergency room, dealing with a death, he has to go out and deal with this horrific minute of going to the relatives and announcing the truth. Only he can do it. And he can't lie about it or make it any easier. It just has to come raw.
- A captain on a boat, knowing his ship is sinking, and that the only hope he has for saving the passengers is to camouflage the actual truth and make sure people are heading to the emergency barks without panicking. The raw truth in this instance would cause general panic and would definitely affect the outcome since it would cause general panic. In this case, honesty is not the priority, having the situation "under control" is.

Now the question is, what do I need to be now. The ship is not sinking, and nobody is dying, but still, a mom would be terrified if her baby caught a cold.

Someone told me I had perseverance, and that I can handle difficulties and still manage to go on. But the pressure is increasing day after day, and it's really tough sometimes to be the one shouting "keep moving forward".

You know what, I just realized something, I may not be "hiding my real feelings" per say, I may not be "being nice we khalas", but there is definitely a part of truth in this: Apparently, I still have to "pick my words", I still have to "process" every word before I get it out of my system, even to the closest people. And that's taking a huge amount of effort, at least for me.

Now I got it, I really do: I cook my food only to my very special guests, others have to eat it raw.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Deux Guitares

Deux tziganes sans répit
Grattent leur guitare
Ranimant du fond des nuits
Toute ma mémoire
Sans savoir que roule en moi
Un flot de détresse
Font renaître sous leurs doigts
Ma folle jeunesse.

Jouez tziganes jouez pour moi
Avec plus de flamme
Afin de couvrir la voix
Qui dit à mon âme
Où as-tu mal, pourquoi as-tu mal ?
Ah t'as mal à la tête
Mais bois un peu moins aujourd'hui tu boiras plus demain
Et encore plus après-demain.

Deux guitares en ma pensée
Jettent un trouble immense
M'expliquant la vanité
De notre existence
Que vivons-nous, pourquoi vivons-nous ?
Quelle est la raison d'être ?
Tu es vivant aujourd'hui, tu seras mort demain
Et encore plus après-demain.

Quand je serai ivre-mort
Faible et lamentable
Et que vous verrez mon corps
Rouler sous la table
Alors vous pourrez cesser
Vos chants qui résonnent
En attendant jouez
Jouez je m'abandonne.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The show

This is simply not working.
I always knew I was self-conscious but never thought to that extent.
What am I missing? where is that missing piece of the puzzle? where is it going?
Everyday I have a new thing to celebrate. Everyday seems to have its whole bunch of great news. Yet, it doesn't seem enough, and THAT'S driving me crazy.

I seem to be obsessed with one thing and one thing only. No one seems to get that, simply because I, myself don't.
It's haunting my thoughts. And it's so trivial. Yet, I seem to be enjoying this pain.

For the first time, I'm not creating the show, I'm only a spectator, a very trivial spectator. The producer is teasing me with his own creative genius, with his own mind games. In a way, I just love it. In a way, I can't stand it. In a way, I admire that mind, in another way I just don't get it.

I always enjoyed theatre, and I know the show must go on. Just couldn't believe my follower will follow my footsteps even in show-biz.

I am actually enjoying this pain. I'm actually experiencing the power of "not knowing what's behind curtain number 2".

Only time will tell if what I have is a far more superior mentality, or a far more inferior one. And there are no other options.