Ya 3awazel.... Etnayeloh :)

Pause

Waves of endless flows of emotions, converging, spreading, taking twists and sudden turns, radiating in white chalky strokes: That seems to be life. To see it as a sequence of events, people and settings is a great undermine of the splendor and beauty of god's most intricate masterpieces.

It is capable of manifesting itself in grandiose scenery and epic wonders, but it has the unique ability of being summarized in a look, a note of voice, an eye spark, a trace of humanity.

Tonight I experienced an overwhelming flow of human emotions radiating from those eyes, those sparkling eyes who were exceptionally even more sparkling this night, a bit wetter maybe? or maybe it's their ways of saying, this is our "manly" way to say how we feel.

Emotions that instantly found a way to penetrate my chest and really, more real than anything, caused the most unusual heartache one can get. It really came from there, no doubt about it. Maybe today a bit shifted to the right? which was kinda weird. But it came from in there alright.

In seeing one's struggle for a firm and sold "man" way to deal with grief, when feeling this moment of nostalgia passing by him like the wind and almost succeeding at overthrowing his outstanding urge to seem as coherent as a "man" should be, one realizes how fragile a human being can be, how pure a soul can turn to be, how we know nothing, how it's all a fragile dream of crimson skies of whirlpools of turbulent emotions of love and attachment.

Here is our love life brought into wild, in moments such as this, all that lives and breathes under the sun is a part of heaven's kiss.

I cannot stand the simple concept of seeing a human so dear, with a similar deep ache. There's nothing I can say or do to make this go away, just know that we'll all fly to meet the dawn in crimson sky, we will be reborn.

Till then, your humanity is god's most major blessing, the wildest path for discovery, the gift given by the lord in exchange of everything else. And it's a divine gift indeed. One that nobody sees yet, it does exist, the proof? It's making me write posts like this.

and what would that change...

He, he observes you from where he sits,

You, it unnerves you, you lose your wits.

He, he ignites you with eyes of flame,

You, it excites you, you like the game.

And I in my chair, though I hardly speak, I notice each innuendo.

And I in my chair, I'm stricken with fear at seeing the end so near.

He, how to win you? he woos with style,

You, you continue to coyly smile.

He, with his quarry on hunting ground,

You, probably sorry that I'm around.

And I in my chair, though I hardly speak, I see just how well he's doing.

And I in my chair, I'm trying to hide the dread that I hold inside.

He, his eyes flatter, your hands touch,

You, now you chatter a bit too much.

He, like a gypsy, he serenades,

You, you grow tipsy, your laugh cascades.

And I in my chair, though I hardly speak, my heart's on the verge of... crying.

And I in my chair, my heart understands, my love is now changing hands.

"No... no, no it's nothing, perhaps a little tired only

Why do you ask me if I'm feeling alright? of course I am.

This was a beautiful evening,

Yes indeed a.... a beautiful evening."

The world's greatest superhero, now, the world's greatest toy..!

Out among the stars I sail,
way beyond the moon
in my silver ship i sail
a dream that ended to soon
now I know exactly who I am,
and what im here for
and I will go sailing no more

all the things I thought I'd be,
all the brave things i'd done
vanished like a snowflake,
with the rising of the sun
never more to sail my ship,
where no man has gone before
and I will go sailing no more

no it can't be true
I could fly if I wanted to
like a bird in the sky,
I believe I can fly
why I'd fly....

clearly now, I will go sailing, no more

Diamond in the rough, part 2

I wanted to write about you, didn't know what to say, then, came this song, this song full of emotional whirlpools, this song that still brings me the biggest heart ache, haunting me whenever I see a shadow of the past, the shadow of a memory, the shadow of a smile.

The shadow of your smile when you are gone,

will color all my dreams, and light the dawn.

Look into my eyes, and see,

all the lovely things, you are, to me.

Now when I remember spring, 

all the joy that love can bring,

I will be remembering..

the shadow of your smile.

And just like this song, you're still haunting me, there is something about you that does, I can't explain it but it just works.

You know my weakness, you know how to use it, you know how to tame me, you manage to do it every time, you turn me into someone I don't even recognize anymore, someone I used to know, someone I lost over the years, someone that represents all what I was. This radiant heart pumping emotions, passion and light.

Each time I see your sparkling eyes, even for a few minutes, you leave me perplexed, unable to talk for the rest of the day, you're not even aware of it but you make me loose my focus more than anything else.

You say they won't come, you say it's impossible, I totally believe you're wrong, I absolutely believe it's possible, they can come back, they can happen again, it's just a matter of will, a will that I have but can't transmit, maybe because I really saw them, because I've really known them: those sunny days, and starry nights, those lazy afternoons; when we counted castles in the clouds, and hummed little tunes. But somehow right before my eyes, the summer fades away, every thing is different, everything has changed.

But Diamond, you weren't there, you weren't there when I needed you most, you come and go, you do your thing, say your words, do your effect on me and just leave when I most need your presence.

Funny how a photograph, can take you back in time,
to places and embraces that you thought you'd left behind.
Trying to remind you that you're not the only one,
that no one is on an island, when all is said and done.

And then, I feel lost, on my own, far from home, and the only things that manages to make me realize that I'm never alone is when I think of my friends, the ones who care, they are always waiting there, with love to share, and my heart just brings me to where I feel safe, to where I feel at home.

So you see Diamond, you are a diamond in the rough, a genuine diamond in the rough, but at the end, a diamond is just a rock, a shining rock but still a rock, and maybe, just maybe, you are as well. Diamonds may shine, but they will never be friends, real friends like the ones I have. They are here, they are real and they shine too. And when comes a day when I'm losing my way and don't know where I belong; they say that home is where the heart, so I just follow my heart and know that I can't go wrong.

C'est pour notre voisine

- Little kid, where are you going? running bare footed this way?
- I'm running towards the "heavens" as, they say, "It's christmas time".

The christmas of the streets, it's snow and wind. And the wind of the streets put little kids to cry. Lights, Joy and Laughter are behind the displays, not for you, not for me, just for the neighbors.

My little one, have fun as much as you can, by looking, only by looking, but take care not to touch anything while looking from afar. 

The christmas of the streets, it's the cold of the winter, in the eyes wide-open of the children of the streets.

Kill facebook

An extremely sophisticated web of tight friendships and relationships.

A family that has taken its time before becoming a real, genuine one.

A piece of cloth with individual threads, turning around each other, tied  in each others, practically becoming one with each other day after day, moment after moment, photo after photo.

When you believe the only way to guarantee the stability of your family is to make the bonds between its family members tight and tighter. When you've practically done the impossible to reach this very solid sophisticated piece of cloth, this bullet proof piece of cloth that no one can break, that would absorb all shocks, that would always stay one.

Yet, not all the cotton threads have the same endurance, not all the pieces of your complex artwork are "comfortable" with each other. You think your piece of cloth is bullet proof? well think again.

Now that's history, and, for the sake of avoiding this hidden tear passing by the side of a single eye, let's refrain from mentioning it.

For more than 7 months now, I didn't write, I didn't think and I didn't talk (practically) about this sinister subject. Yet, a quick, accidental bump on some old photos are enough to cause yet another "earthquake".

Where is it exactly going? where is destiny taking us? is it all destiny? or can someone really do something? I mean what both sides now are doing is simply trying to break every single possible link they had with all other 

threads that used to form this magnificent piece of cloth. What is taking place right now is the pure, harsh, merciless tearing apart of something that one has spent a great deal of effort assembling. And believe me, if you managed to break it without a single drop of blood, without shedding a single tear, without feeling "this cannot be the solution", this only means one thing: You are/have become heartless, or worse, you think you know everyone, you think you know us, you think you know me.

I am a question to the world, not an answer to the herd, and what? do you think you understand? you don't know me, and I'll never be what you want me to be. And thanks to you, they don't know me, they won't know me, you know why? coz, for them, I'm not here. You can't see me, but I'm still here. They can't tell me who to be, cause I'm not what they see.

I'm still here, maybe with more determination not to be fooled again, maybe with more determination to watch my back a little bit more, but I'm still here, exactly the same, without one single change.

And now, on their way to complete separation, the links are becoming more intricate, we are not "unlinking" the two sides, we are "re-linking" them, but this time, with bonds of hate and sorrow. And it seems, it's not about to stop. It seems to be going in one direction.

I thought you were wiser, do you really think that giving it "time" will fix it? you couldn't be wronger my dear, time only succeeded at complicating things, and it is not ready to stop doing that.

As if this would make a difference, as if someone would really care, as if someone would rethink "hey, wait a minute, I've been a real jerk to these people, haven't I?".

Well, something is still sure, on this very long way to recovery, it seems, I still have one more tear to shed.

Kill Facebook